Valentines Day at the Fett's
by Mona Lisa
Summary: How do the Fetts celebrate Valentines Day? Once again, I was very bored when I wrote this. Please R/R!


DISCLAIMER: I own nothing that doesn't belong to me. 

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Yeah, I don't really think that the Fetts celebrate Valentines Day, but who cares. 

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Valentines Day at the Fetts   
by Mona Lisa   
~~~ 

Jango Fett awoke to hear the sounds of the rain paltering off his roof- again. Every morning, it was always the same. It never stopped raining on Kamino. Jango rolled out of bed and opened his bedroom door. All he could think about was a nice, hot, cup of coffee. 

That wasn't what he got. 

Instead, Jango opened the door to his bedroom and froze. For a moment he believed that he was in the wrong apartment. His entire living room was filled with pink balloons, red banners, roses and confetti. For a moment, Jango just stared. Then- 

"BOBA!" 

The ten year old ran hurriedly out of his room, tripping over himself as he went. The youth caught site of the room, and he too froze. 

"Holy shi-" 

"Boba, children your age should not use that kind of language." Taun We said as she walked from the corner she had been hiding in. She ignored the "What-the-heck-is-wrong-with-you?" look Boba was giving her and turned to Jango. She looked him over and he became uncomfortably aware that he wasn't wearing anything except his boxers. "Happy Valentines Day, Jango." 

"Taun We, what happened to my apartment?" 

"I redecorated it in honor of the occasion." 

"_You_ redecorated _my_ apartment for Valentines Day?" 

"Yes. I thought it was," Taun We paused here and again looked Jango over, "romantic." 

Jango only blinked. Boba on the other hand gave Taun We a very frightened look. "Uh, I'll be in my room." he said, leaving. 

"Taun We, _what_ have you been smoking?" Jango asked. 

"Nothing. Why?" 

"Alright. Listen, Taun We. This is _my_ apartment. I don't want all of this crap here. You put it up, you take it down. Clean this place up. Now." 

"But what about romance?" 

"What about it?" 

"Well, it's Valentines Day, and I was thinking we could-" 

"Ew, Taun We, what the heck gave you that absurd idea?" 

"Well, I, uh, I just-" 

"Listen, I don't care. Just get out of here." 

Now Taun We glared at Jango. "Fine!" she snapped before slamming the door shut behind her as she left. 

"Is she gone?" Boba asked opening his bedroom door a little. 

"Yeah, she's gone." 

"Good. She was scarring me." 

"She was scarring me too. Come on, Boba. Let's get this place cleaned up." 

*** 

Zam Wesell landed her ship on Kamino and then hurriedly ran across the landing platform and to the building. Why couldn't the Kaminoins at least build a covered walkway from the landing platform to the door? She had never understood them. 

Zam was greeted by Taun We, as she often was when she visited Kamino. This time, however, the Kaminoin had a very sour expression on her face. 

"Hello, Taun We. Is Jango home?" 

"Yeah." She replied sourly. 

"Are you feeling alright?" 

"Yeah." 

"Okay, well, I am going to go visit Jango, if you don't mind." 

"Actually, I do." 

"What?" 

"Why have you come? Jango gave me strict orders to not let anyone visit unless it be for business." 

"Well, that's why I've come." 

"How do _I_ know that?" 

"Taun We, I don't think you're feeling alright. What have you been smoking?" 

"Nothing." 

"Okay, then maybe you haven't had enough sleep. Listen, I told Jango I would met him here today. He won't be happy if I fail to show up for an important meeting." 

Taun We glared at her then abruptly walked away. Zam raised her eyebrows. Normally the Kaminoins were very courteous to her. Oh well, Zam thought. She knew where Jango's apartment was. She didn't need Taun We to guide her around like a child. 

*** 

The doorbell rang and Jango froze. What if it was Taun We again? "Boba," he whispered quietly. "Get the door. If it's Taun We, don't let her in. I'll be hiding under my bed in my room." 

Boba watched his dad go and wondered if Valentines Day always made people act this strange. First Taun We, and now Jango. 

The doorbell rang again, and Boba ran to get it. His hand hovered over the door knob. What if it was Taun We? Boba didn't want to deal with her any more than Jango did. What if, since she couldn't get her hands on Jango, she had decided to come after Boba instead? After all, he was an exact replica of his father. He was only ten years old, she could easily abduct him. 

The doorbell rang yet again, and Boba sensed that the person on the other side of the door was growing impatient. Boba took a deep breath and turned the door handle. 

"Taun We, my dad is feeling ill, he can't- oh, sorry, Zam. Zam! You're not Taun We!" 

"No, I'm not Taun We, Boba. Where's your Dad?" 

"He's in his bedroom hiding under the bed." Boba said this in a tone of voice that suggested such behavior was totally normal. He grabbed Zam by the hand and pulled her into the apartment. "Dad!" He called. "It's safe! Zam's here!" 

Jango stumbled out of his bedroom looking gratified. "Thank the Force it's you." he said, grabbing Zam's arm and pulling her close. "Thank the Force you're not Taun We." Then, to Zam and Boba's great suprise, Jango kissed Zam's lips. Zam, eyes wide with shock, pulled away. 

"Jango! What the heck was that for?" 

Jango went red and said, "Sorry, Zam. I was just so thankful that you weren't Taun We..." 

Boba shook his head. Valentines Day defiantly made people act strange. 

Zam looked at Jango. "What's the deal with Taun We? She seemed really angry when I arrived today." 

"What did she do?" 

"She just kept refusing to let me see you." 

Boba spoke up. "She decorated our apartment in Valentines stuff, and then she began to hit on Dad!" 

Zam looked around the apartment. She had been preoccupied with Jango and hadn't noticed the many balloons and banners that decorated the walls. Suddenly, she let out a small laugh. 

"That's why she didn't want me to see you. She thinks that, since you are a guy and I'm a girl, and that I visit you a lot, she thinks that we have something going on. She was jealous." Zam shook her head and smiled slightly. "Although, after that little display of affection..." 

"Zam, I told you. I was so grateful that you weren't Taun We-" 

"Yeah, well, don't kiss me again unless you mean it." 

Jango nodded his agreement and then said, "How do we deal with Taun We?" 

The three sat still, each of them deep in thought for a moment. 

"We need to make her fall in love with someone else." Boba stated. 

"How are we supposed to do that?" Jango asked. 

"We could use a potion." Zam suggested. 

"How would we make sure she drinks it? Then, what happens when it wears off?" 

"Humm..." The trio again fell into silent thought. 

"We could have a jedi or someone come in here and do a mind trick." Boba said. 

"Humm...That might work." The other two nodded their agreement. 

*** 

"I don't know how I let you talk me into this." Count Dooku said as he stepped into the Fett's apartment. 

"I let you use me to build a clone army." 

"Yeah, and I repaid you by letting you get your son." 

Jango just shrugged and smiled. 

"What is it you want me to do again?" Dooku asked. 

"I need you to make Taun We fall in love with Lama Su." 

"You want me to make them fall in love? I'm not a matchmaker!" 

Zam smiled at Dooku innocently. "It's Valentines Day. Have a little spirit." 

Dooku sighed and nodded. "Alright." Then the group left for the conference room where Dooku was to hold his "meeting" with the Prime Minister and Taun We. The two Kaminoins were already seated by the time they go there. Lama Su greeted them all, while Taun We cast sour looks at Jango and Zam. 

Dooku sat across from Lama Su and Taun We. "Alright, straight to business. I am very impressed with your clone army, yadda, yadda, yadda, but there need to be a few changes." 

"There is something you are unsatisfied with?" Taun We asked, seemingly upset. 

"My dear Taun We, look at me. You must not stalk Jango Fett. He is not your type of man." 

"I must not stalk Jango Fett." Taun We replied. "He is not my type of man." 

"Good. You must fall in love with Lama Su." 

"I must fall in love with Lama Su." 

"Yes. And you, Lama Su, must fall in love with Taun We." 

"I must fall in love with Taun We." 

"Very good. Now, one other thing before I leave. I wasn't here today." 

"Syfo-Dias was not here today." They said in unison, before turning to each other. 

"I love you, Lama Su. Who cares about that stupid Jango Fett?" 

The Bounty Hunters plus Dooku each grimaced and hurriedly left the room. 

"Thank you, very much, Count Dooku." Jango said. 

"Don't mention it. I suppose two million clones deserves a little more than just one son." 

"Yeah. Not to mention all the money I get for this." 

***   
Epilogue: Count Dooku left Kamino while Jango, Zam and Boba had a quiet dinner at the Fett's house, after which Zam and Jango talked about Bounty Hunting. Lama Su and Taun We went to a nice restaurant and had a nice, candle light dinner. Then they got married at a Las Vegas wedding chapel and had ten children. Everyone lived happily ever after. Or at least they did until Star Wars Episode II. 

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I hope that you found it funny. Please review!   
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